This morning I snoozed my alarm a good ten times (and I never snooze my alarms)
I was just not feeling it (read as I did NOT want to get out of bed, like at all)
I fully embodied my teenage self, wrapping myself deeper under the covers with every alarm deciding my bed and I should be one for the day.
And with every alarm being snoozed the voice inside got louder...
"WHAT ARE YOU MORE COMMITTED TOO"
(thank fuck I've learnt the high level questions to ask myself)
And with every tune of birds and the ocean (I don't do screechy alarms) I became clearer and clearer that THIS is the moment that really freaking matters.
This is what I've been learning about
This is what I've gotten to look at
THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY
SO I got up and I checked in with myself (not the part of me that wanted to sleep all day) and asked what She needed. And I gave her all that She did.
I had a whole world of concerns, AND I chose to address them from a space that would move me forward and not have me fuel the world of concerns.
I literally dragged myself into my day.
My workout was paused as I experienced massive waves of anxiety.
My tuning in emotional as I released whatever was on my chest.
My shower long as I had wave after wave of feeling so freaking uncomfortable and avoidant to do anything except hide today.
My morning felt as though I was literally dragging myself through each moment. And the reminder of I'VE GOT YOU was repeated again and again.
NONE of this is being shared for any support, please don't offer solutions or ask if I'm okay, because 1. I am and 2. as much as I appreciate you and them, I've actually got this haha and 3. This isn't something to 'get rid of'.
This is purely to remind you that there is ALWAYS space to give ourselves what we need and we have to be disciplined enough to know what that is and not simply give in to the parts of us that frankly just want to do nothing and jump ship on what we're up too in the world.
So today, I've played loud music all day, worn chunky ass boots, rocked some epic earrings, and dressed myself in a way that had me feel damn powerful, grounded and like a Woman on a mission...while drinking cups of tea from my delicate tea pot #contrast 😂
And you know what? It's mid afternoon and I feel fucking good about who I've been today, and who I get to know myself as.
It would have been SO easy to stay stuck this morning.
To swirl with the concerns.
To buy into the stories. And I could have, no one would know different. But I'm so much more committed to experiencing a damn exquisite life and with that comes the days where you literally drag yourself into the world (and show up for yourself as you do)